Hair Cut

Oh, it is soooo very hard to persuade BJ to go for a hair cut.

Finally, he agreed.

He had a GI Joe hair cut today. He hated it. He was angry with the hairdresser. He touched his head almost all the time.

He looked like a baby in his new hair cut....and He hated it!

Haha.... Will upload a pic when I take one "Botak" head shot. (Hee Hee)

Ten Things

Somethings I read today from the mailing list.


1. Be sure to have a life other than one of autism. Everybody in your family should have some interests and other friends, totally unrelated to your child's diagnosis.

2. Find two or more babysitters who you can trust, train them to work with your child, especially around communication, safety issues and routines, then be sure you get out of the house once in a while to do grownup things!

3. Trust yourself first, then trust the professionals. You know your child best.

4. Educate yourself, not just about autism intervention but also about special education law. The sooner you do this, the sooner you will know how to advocate effectively for your child in order to be sure he or she receives an appropriate and quality program. Other parents of children with autism are invaluable for this type of help.

5. Do NOT try every "cure" you hear about. Before you put your child through anything, decide if it's worth the risk, if your family can handle it, if it makes sense, if you can handle the financial demands without other family members suffering, etc. Avoid unethical people, whose main interest is to make a buck off of our situation.

6. Get out in the community and teach your child the skills he or she needs to manage some family outings. The earlier you do this with your child, the better chance of a "normal" family life.

7. Teach him or her a new skill that you know will be difficult, when BOTH of you are ready.

8. Take vacations. A change of scenery is a good thing. The key is figuring out how to make it work so that it's not MORE work than staying home. Your family should not be cheated out of family vacations!

9. Stay in touch with friends and family members who do not have children with special needs. Talk about your children, just as most parents do when the topic comes up. Be sure to ask about their children and listen with an open heart.

10. Enjoy your child for who he or she is.

Journeying with My Child

Along this journey searching for sanity for myself (as well as my family) confronting autism, I am now more at ease with myself, my fears, my worries, and my capability as a mum.

I have not much to offer my BJ. We do not have speechies and OTs to work extensively on him. We do not engage in whatever therapy that come and go. We do not live a high life where we can afford to send him to all sorts of intervention.

The initial years were tough. Plagued with guilt, and hopelessness, we onced lived in despair. We are very much happier now. Grief took a toll on us. A long while. We learned to give up our grief. we learned to turn grief into strength that carry us through difficulties. We learned to commit our grieves to God.

BJ has grown much from his initial years of non-compliance, and being in his own small little world. We share his joy when he laughs, we share his tears when he cries, we provide a shoulder for him to sleep on. We had fun together!

My heart is full of thanksgiving. Indeed. A heart full of praise.

Overgeneralization

What a word - overgeneralisation. Children with autism normally do not generalize enough to know how to act consistently in varied settings and contexts. However, my BJ is overgeneralizing in this area:

HE DEMANDS AN APOLOGY FOR PEOPLE WHO WILFULLY AND ACCIDENTALLY DISTURB HIM.

Sounds strange. He demands it from his father, "Daddy, say sorry to me." Or point to someone who offended him, and tell me, "Mummy, tell XXX she cannot get angry at me."

What am I going to do with him? Headache lah!

Looks like the social scripting is in again....

The Script will look like: sometimes accidents happen when people knock into me. When they knock into me and do not say sorry, I don't have to get upset. I can walk away, and ask for a hug/eat sweet/blow bubbles. I will feel better after that.